Story: What do people regret in life?
It’s September, with just 4 months remaining in 2024. It was a busy summer with work, and I appreciate the clients who worked with me during that time. I hope the websites reach their target audiences and generate new leads for my clients. I always hope so.
On Labor Day, a national holiday in the United States and Canada, I asked ChatGPT about this topic. The idea comes from somewhere the interview of Jeff Bezos who is the co-founder of Amazon. He says “I don’t want to regret in life.” I received several responses, and after a few exchanges, I asked ChatGPT to compile a top 10 list for me.
In the beginning, ChatGPT mentioned that people’s regrets in life can vary greatly depending on individual experiences and perspectives. I understand that. Now, I intend to take some time to carefully consider each list.
1. Not pursuing their dreams.
The idea of having a dream varies from person to person, and it’s interesting to consider whether everyone has a clear vision of their goals. Looking at different generations, we can see how opportunities and limitations have shaped career paths. For example, our grandparents had fewer job options, often influenced by societal factors and events like war. Even without smartphones, our parents’ generation had more choices available to them.
Personally, I’ve found my passion in advertising, and I currently work as a designer. I have no regrets about my career choice so far, though I’m curious about other fields like investing, trading, and architecture. However, I know I might regret changing my career now.
Finding satisfaction in our work is important since we spend so much of our lives on our jobs. When our interests align with our careers, it brings joy and fulfillment. Reflecting on the connection between dreams, career choices, and personal happiness helps us understand the various factors that shape our professional lives. Some people find their dreams early, while others may discover them later or change paths along the way. The key is to make thoughtful decisions and aim for a career that truly fulfills us.
2. Not spending enough time with loved ones.
I often hear successful people mention that they sacrificed family for their careers. This sentiment seems more emphasized in North America than in Asia. Family relationships don’t follow a single pattern, and there’s no set standard for how much time is enough to spend with family.
If you prioritize family over work, it often means you’re managing a stable cash flow and have a good job. I assume many people are working primarily to make a living. I live in Vancouver, Canada, where the housing crisis is a common topic of discussion. People spend too much money on rent, although I don’t believe the news that claims people are living paycheck to paycheck. If I were living paycheck to paycheck, I wouldn’t be here. If they are struggling with mortgages due to high interest rates, that’s a consequence of their past decisions. The economy is always fluctuating, so I don’t have much sympathy. If I buy a house, I pay by cash and do not use a mortgage. I will live where I can afford it, not Vancouver or Toronto.
Anyway, if your friends and family are nearby, spend time with them. If not, focus on work and earning money. After all, money gives you more options in the future.
3. Not expressing their feelings.
This is somewhat admired, but it really depends on family, friends, and culture. I don’t think expressing feelings is as common in Asia. Often, when people express appreciation to their parents, it’s too late. What I can do is go back to my hometown as much as I can to visit my mother.
Recently, many people have used social media to share their lives/feelings publicly. I don’t search for or view these contents myself, but I feel that many people are seeing it for some reason. Some individuals are crying in front of their smartphones (not sure about editing before sharing). Others are expressing their feelings at the moment, while some are creating content to connect with others and increase their followers. Regardless of the purpose, I tend to avoid it. Nothing about it makes me feel (or life) better.
Express feeling requires practice. If you have someone close to you, thank them. Write a thank-you letter to your parents, mentor, or friend. If you can’t do that, at least live your life with gratitude. It makes you more positive and reduces stress.
4. Not taking care of their health.
Staying healthy is important to me. I don’t smoke and only drink alcohol if it’s in the fridge. I eat a balanced diet with vegetable juice and milk, and take some supplements. I currently sleep six hours a night.
I know I need to add exercise to my routine to improve my fitness. I’m also interested in mental health and want to learn more about it to stay positive.
I’ve had health problems before, like broken heels and cracked teeth, which has made me realize how important it is to take care of my health. As a freelancer, I understand that the future can be uncertain.
I know life is unpredictable, and I want to make the most of it. I’m excited about the advancements in AI, space exploration, energy, and biotechnology, and I look forward to seeing and being part of these changes.
5. Not pursuing education or personal growth.
I don’t have many regrets about my education so far. I studied very hard to get into university and realized my limitations at that time—I wasn’t academically gifted. I didn’t know what I wanted to do during my youth, but I discovered it after graduating. It may be late, but it’s not too late. I work as a freelance web and graphic designer in the advertising field, even though it’s challenging to survive in this ever-changing era. Survival is not bad; we always need to keep learning.
People often say to love yourself, but that doesn’t resonate with me. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully satisfied with myself throughout my life.
6. Not being true to themselves.
People regret not living authentically or pursuing their genuine passions and values. They may have conformed to others’ expectations or acted in ways that didn’t align with their true self, leading to a sense of missed opportunities, unfulfilled potential, or emotional dissatisfaction. This regret often arises from realizing that a more authentic life could have been more fulfilling and satisfying.
I have some regrets, but they aren’t too significant given my current situation. If I had found my passion earlier, my academic career might have been different, but it is what it is.
One of my life principles is to avoid lying. I dislike being accused of it and feeling guilty. That’s why I make sure to pay my taxes every year.
7. Not taking risks.
The notion of taking risks often arises later in life, once we have attained certain milestones and established a sense of stability. Owning a home, possessing a car, building a family, and providing educational opportunities for our children are common benchmarks that contribute to this sense of security. While it is easy to advocate for taking risks, it is crucial to acknowledge that they do not always guarantee a happy ending. There is a potential for failure, and in extreme cases, it could lead to homelessness. However, if individuals are willing to assume responsibility for the outcomes, they can navigate the consequences with resilience and acceptance.
Taking risks can yield rewards, but they also carry inherent uncertainties. It is important to recognize that each person’s circumstances and risk tolerance may vary. Achieving stability and reaching a position of comfort can instill a sense of caution, prompting us to prioritize protecting what we have worked hard to attain. This inclination towards preserving security is natural and understandable.
Ultimately, the decision to take risks or maintain stability is a personal one, influenced by individual values, aspirations, and the level of preparedness to face potential setbacks. While embracing risks can lead to new opportunities and personal growth, it is essential to weigh the potential consequences and be willing to assume responsibility for the outcomes. By doing so, individuals can navigate the delicate balance between venturing into the unknown and preserving the stability they have achieved.
8. Not forgiving or reconciling.
You may not believe that each life has a predetermined destiny. We are all walking on an invisible road, and we have the opportunity to change its course throughout our lives. When we do good for others (creatures including humans, society and the universe), our destiny can take a better path; when we do bad, it can lead us in the opposite direction. We have the ability to change our lives on our own. (*We also face events beyond our ability, such as disaster, pandemics or war, it’s life.)
Throughout life, many events occur—both good and bad. Sometimes, we face unreasonable situations, and forgiveness can be very difficult, especially when we’ve done nothing wrong. I understand that, and I am still struggling with it myself. Since I believe this situation involves criminal behavior, I could pursue a civil case, but it’s expensive, costing $10K or more for a lawyer. Even after a judge’s verdict, I can’t expect the accused to pay restitution.
I want to pursue justice regardless of the cost. I am still thinking and learning.
9. Not taking care of personal finances.
When I go back to my hometown, I see many items that I have accumulated but don’t need. I regret buying these things, especially since I already had similar items. I can’t buy them now, and I rarely have the chance to use them. If I calculate it, it could be around $50K. I could sell them, but I don’t have the time to do so. Although I still love many of these items, they don’t fit my current lifestyle of living abroad and moving frequently.
Even after spending 10 years in Vancouver, I still have some belongings that I shouldn’t have purchased. It was a good experience, but I could have saved at least $30K. Now, my life is much more focused, and I no longer waste money.
10. Not traveling or exploring the world.
Some people write a book when they travel around the world. I don’t aim to visit all 195 countries. How many countries we visit really depends on personal preference. Some people enjoy spending time at home or nearby. There’s nothing wrong with a more focused approach—it can lead to new discoveries and remind us that happiness can be closer than we think.
In my opinion, the number of people we interact with during travel is more important than the number of countries we visit. I prefer a nomadic lifestyle, working in different countries or cities and staying at least 2 weeks in each place. I wasn’t able to go to New York in 2024, but I plan to visit in 2025. Hopefully, I’ll make it to the EU in 2026.
Super Soul Sunday “Marianne Williamson” | Full Episode | OWN
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Conclusion: The way of life of each person
Life is a deeply personal journey, and while the regrets we carry may be common, the way we live and grow through them is uniquely our own. We never truly know how long we will live. You may know the story of a close friend who passed away far earlier in life than expected, or you may have grandparents who lived long, healthy lives. Each person’s path is shaped by their choices, experiences, and the lessons they take to heart. Understanding and acknowledging these regrets can lead to greater self-awareness and inspire us to live more intentionally, making the most of the time and opportunities we have. Ultimately, the way of life each person chooses is their own story, full of possibilities to turn regrets into wisdom and growth.
